The Life and Times of Ron G....

closing a chapter and beginning anew......

2011-07-27T21:51:00.000-07:00

long time away. i know. its been a long time because in truth, there has been so much going on in my life that its impossible to talk about everything. and in truth, i'm still trying to compartmentalize everything. so i can deal with them and move on. but as of now, i'm fine. 2011 has done me both good and dirty. it gave me a chance to see just who i feel like i can depend on when i'm in need. it showed me who i can count on professionally and personally. and it also showed me that my outlook on things are pretty dead on. so, as i leave one chapter of my life, germany, and start my new chapter on life, georgia, i'm excited and sad. sad because i had to leave after dam near 7 years. allot happened in those years but i wouldnt change a thing. i got to basically watch my babies grow up. time i surely would have missed had things went any other way. my goal going to germany was to make sure i supported jennifer and helped her raise our children. i think i accomplished that. i think that had i not gone, my kids wouldn't know me as the man i am today. nor would i have become the man i am today. when i look at dante and janae today, i feel like we have done so much to make them the people that they will become. and i happy about that. truly happy. in those 7 years, i also got a chance to meet my current wife, April, and add another beautiful member to the grant family. destiny. so going forward, i am excited. excited to see what this marriage brings me and excited to see what we become. i am also excited in knowing that one day, i will be able to reunite with dante and janae so i can have all my babies in one place. even if for a minute. on a professional note, in those 7 years, i have come so far. i think so anyway, but for some reason, there is an empty feeling or a feeling that something was left undone. who knows. because my unit was deployed when i returned from afghanistan, i kind of feel like i left under the vail of night. like i wasn't celebrated like everyone that left before me. because in 7 years, i have done so much for one BN. its tragic to leave the way i did. not being ungrateful though, my company did allot for me on my way out. i'm completely happy with the way i left the company. and i feel like me and my ncos laid a foundation with the soldiers we had that they too will become great ncos. i got a chance to work with some really great people to include my battle buddy for life, cpt allen. so all is not for a loss. i can accept that we did our jobs to the fullest. period. as for where i'm going, i'll say that i'm not completely sold on my new job yet, but we will see whats to come in the very near future. no excitement in that arena. as my time in the military is winding down, its hard to be excited to be beginning again. in my mind, same shit, different day, different location. anyway, i'm tired now so i'm bout to be out. as for my future in writing, i am about to start a new blog called "my story". its going to be what "the life and times...." was supposed to be. a story of my life. in writing. chapter to chapter. as i see it. so, in the next coming months, look forward to that. i won't publish it until i have a few chapters written out. so till then, take it easy. one.

Memorial Day 2011 - A Fews Thoughts From Myself......

2011-05-30T12:26:00.000-07:00

I haven't thought allot about Memorial Day because for so long I have been living what America is celebrating. So have my Mother, my Wife, my Brothers-In-Laws, and Brothers and Sisters in arms. Through OUR many deployments, WE have been fortunate enough to have come home alive each time.

Having just returned from Afghanistan I have been fortunate to serve as a First Sergeant, deploy with and return with everyone. And yes, we had a few come home early for various reasons, but we came home alive. That was my only real GOAL going in.

While there I heard many stories of battles and attacks that were very REAL to those who told it. Some funny, some down right scary. And while I have many of my own stories, minus the motars that fell from the sky in Iraq that November day in 2008 at 0700hrs, I cant say I felt my life was in any real danger. And yes, there are many other moments that stick close to my mind like glue, as I said earlier, I have been fortunate. Thats the life of most Soldiers. There are MANY however, who can't say that. Who will never come home. Who will never get to tell THIER story. Who will NEVER get to go home to those who LOVE and MISS them. To all those Soldiers who gave the ULTIMATE SACRIFICE, I give the upmost RESPECT. And I PRAY that you are in a better place.

I was just watching a 60 Minutes show detailing a battle and the heroics of a the First Living Medal Of Honor recipient SSG Sal Giunta. It brought back tons of memories. And it made me take a step back. To see the land that I just came home from. To see the similarities I heard in many of the stories I had the honor of hearing. And it made me think. That the American Soldier has took on so much. And as a LEADER, there is nothing I can say that will make up for all that you have done, time you have missed or the lives you have given on the BATTLE FIELD. Also that my FAMILY has taken on so much. All the nights laid up thinking about us. All the days you lived without your Soldier. All the memories you have had to make on your own. SO there is NO way I could live today without thinking of you and all that you have done for me and mines. To you, I give the upmost RESPECT as well. Thank you for all you do and have done on this MEMORIAL DAY. Continue to support myself, my Soldiers and the U.S. ARMY. We will continue to protect this country, and everything that keeps this country FREE. One.

P.S. I choose this photo because this if of me in my gear. Doing my thing. Being a First Sergeant. One.

A Letter to Fam.....

2011-01-02T09:00:00.000-08:00

Hello Fam.

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm doing well right now. The new year has started but to me its a date on the calendar. The most important thing about that date is me being able to say I got very close to 90 days left in this place. I hope you all had a good holiday season and are thankful for everyone and everything that you have in your lives. Cause as a Family, we are truly blessed. I looked back over the past year and I would say that its been an extremely trying time for me. As with everything though, you have to put the negative behind you and keep it moving. You all know my story so no need to rehash any of it. I would like to thank you all for the support that you have shown me this past year. It really meant allot. My mother and Grandma for keeping my Destiny for me. I know it wasn't the smoothest start, and I can be a handful myself, but you did an outstanding job with her. Also for your continued support throughout this deployment. Jennifer for continuing to keep my Dante and Janae on the straight and narrow. I know its hard to raise children without both parents but you continue to amaze me with your strength. My children couldn't ask for a better mother. I go to sleep every night without worrying that they are well taken care of. My Dad for his continued Words of Wisdom and prayers. Also for you attentive ear. The conversations we have, although not many are very insightful. I always take something from them. And will continue to in the future. My Sisters. Yall are my loves. My ladies. We don't get to see each other much due to me always being half way around the world. But whether you know it or not, you are always with me. There has never been a woman in my life that I didn't put up against you both. My expectations of women are very high, and thats because of you. Smile. I don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing, but all three of you are special to me. Reason being, I continue to see you make things happen, no matter what. Whats not to love about that. My Dante, Janae and Destiny. You are my light. That which wakes me up every morning. Everything I do is for you. Period. I want each of you to know that no matter where I find myself in this world, my mind never goes far from you. I watch you with amazement from afar. And I cherish every moment that I hear your voices. They stay with me always. Especially when things are rough on me. So, thank you for being you and for who you will become. And last but certainly not least, my Wife. You made it through your deployment. A few years ago, you cried because you didn't want to go to war. You felt like you would surely die. But I told you I been there twice and that you would make it back safely. And you did. You brought yourself back to me and to my daughter safely. Now we are at the point where we are married and moving forward with our Family. That means allot and allot is expected. Both from you and from me. I said something about Expecting More. That means to me that we have to expect more from each other. Express those expectations so that they are not lost in the shuffle. I am willing to listen as I always have been. The same will be expected of you. We have been apart for way more time than each of us would like, but when we come back together, things will be fine. Its not going to be easy by no means as we have both changed allot during this time apart. But I can truly say, that this is what I want. And I don't want to be anywhere else but with you. I cant say enough how much I love you and miss you. Well Fam, I have to go. Thanks for listening as usual. One.

Love Ronde

Janae....The Big 8....

2010-11-21T22:38:00.000-08:00

Hey Baby. Happy Birthday!!!!! The BIG 8. Smile. It seems that I have missed another one. Yeah, I know. But we did get to talk so hopefully that made up for me not being there yet again. So sorry about that. I’m sure I’ll get a chance to make it up to you. Hopefully the party went well and you had a blast. I was just sitting here thinking about your birthday and what it means to me. Since I’m halfway around the world, I was thinking about one of the most memorable ones I had the opportunity to have with you. That would have had to be your first one. I dont know if you heard the story about that one. So I'm going to give you a bit of insight. I was home for RnR leave during my first deployment just in time to celebrate your birthday. I swear, it seemed like the whole family and neighborhood came out for that one. Looking back on it, it seemed like 30 or 40 people was there. Smile. It was really 2 parties in one. One for me and one for you. You took center stage though, as always. The best part would have had to been when we gave you your own cake. See, we got two cakes, one for the guests and one for you. It had a little Tweety bird on top of it cause you were so dam yellow and your head was kind of big like your mother. I mean mines. Lol. Anyway, you took that cake and smashed your face into it trying to eat it. You looked up and had cake all over your face. I swear, it was too cute. You then proceeded to put your hands in your hair so now you had that cake everywhere. I got a ton of pictures from it if you would like to see them. We ended up having to give you a shower after that one. When you got cleaned up, it was time to get presents. When I say it looked like Xmas up in there. I aint playing. People was like dam, how much shit she need. Funny thing was, we got you allot of stuff, but since everyone else brought a gift, it was just extra. We even had to get Dante a present cause he would have fallen apart from all that stuff you got. All in all, that day was the best. I know you might might not with me, because you don't remember it, but that was my favorite birthday for you. I’m sure we will have more parties and great times. Hell, you only 8. So you got plenty more Birthdays to go and many more memories to have. So till the next one, I love you baby. Enjoy your day. One.

Love Daddy.

Don't Envy Me.....2

2010-11-19T03:16:00.000-08:00

I started this out before but I was getting lost within my thoughts. So here I am, starting again. Hopefully I get this out correctly this time. Life is playing a cruel joke on me. Its giving me a great successful military career all the while its hurting and pulling me away from the things that matter most to me. My family. As a husband, I cant be there to console my wife in her times to need. I cant spend the quality time that is needed to cultivate a serious long term relationship with the one that I chose to live my life with. I cant do anything but call home and say words that are meaningless because I’m not there to back them up. As a father, I’m not able to check homework, watch cartoons, play games, give hugs, or provide the guidance and comfort that kids need from their father. I see my family on the internet from time to time and see the excitement in their faces and I love that. But I cant help but think this is backwards. The thousands of phone calls made to tell my family I love them. The millions of texts to do the same. The emails and gifts sent out to attempt to show that I am still here. From the other side of the planet. All the while, I’m feeling like I have lost my place in their life. I said in an text to my wife that I couldn't compete with life. Not from here. Not from the other side of the planet. Cause while I’m here, life goes on there. In Georgia, in Germany. They are all living in the NOW. While I am looking towards the future cause the NOW for me has me being away from them. And I cant do a dam thing about what life presents them there. I cant compete. So, I’m in a bad spot. I can provide monetarily, I can be heard from a distance yet I cant be a force in their lives. So while things are great for me here in the military, as I said before, I’m going to have to give it all up in order to have the life I really want. That of a husband, that as a father, that as a son, that as a brother and as a good, reliable friend. So don't envy me, my rank or my current position in society. Because the most important thing in life is that which will be there forever, Family. One.

Facebook Fanatics.....

2010-11-19T03:07:00.000-08:00

I’m starting this after taking a hiatus of sorts from writing. Pouring out my life over pages on the internet. With the invention of Facebook, I kind of felt like it was pointless. Since every time you want to let something out, good or bad, you can just do it in small spurts on there. Convenient and to the point. However, I've noticed that even though you can do that, you are always hiding something. There is always something

that you want to say that you might not say because you are afraid to open up completely in front of the people you know (I fall into that category) You want people to know how you are doing, what's going on in your life but you don't want to have to come out and say it. You want them to ask you. You want them to say, What's going on? So you can respond. Maybe you are looking for someone to talk to. Hoping somebody notices you. Maybe you are reaching out, hoping that one person extends a hand. And you are getting to see how much they think of you. I’m sure you will see yourself in here somewhere. Regardless of which category you fall into, don't forget that life isn't lived on Facebook. Its only an outlet. Real life is played out in person. Real life connections still need to be made and cultivated. Life's real problems cannot be worked out within the short lines of Facebook. So at some point, you have to put FB down and show up and represent yourself in person. Because its pointless to be a forceful person over Facebook and have tons to say yet can’t defend yourself in person and speak up for what you believe. That makes you a front. Don't ever forget this. I’ll probably never leave Facebook myself, but I will never again live within its boundaries. One.

Introducing Mrs. April Dominique Grant......

2010-09-10T00:12:00.000-07:00

On 13 August 2010, Ms. April Dominique Carlton married Mr. Oronde Ato Grant. In attendance was my Mother, Ms. Smalls. My Grandmother, Ms. Jones. All of my beautiful children, Dante, Janae and Destiny Grant were there as well. We were married in Huntsville, Alabama at the Justice of Peace. We didn’t have a big wedding due to several reasons. The biggest one being time. With April’s recent return from combat and my short R&R vacation period. There just wasn’t enough time. So we will do a bigger one at some point in the future. That’s my promise. For now though, we felt it was more important to get on with building our future together than to wait until later. As the world knows, our life has been put on hold by the military for the longest. And it’s been hard on us as we have had to endure 3 deployments in our 4 short years together. But we have persevered and this is just the beginning of what I hope will be last till eternity. We still have yet another year apart to endure but the building process has already started. And I’m excited to say the least. I have made up my mind that I will not repeat the mistakes that I made in my past. I’ve put my past behind me and am living for the future. Our future. And am now trying to be the best husband anyone could hope for. This is my dedication to my wife, my future, my Mrs. Grant. So, raise your wine glasses ladies and gentlemen. Introducing to the world, Mrs. April Dominique Grant, stand up and take a bow babe. I love you now, tomorrow and forever. One.

Love Your Husband

Ronde

Saying Goodbye…..

2010-09-09T23:56:00.000-07:00

Jennifer,

I know this a good month late but I felt I needed to send this to you. July 5, 2004, our divorce became final. It was something that didn’t have to happen but due to me and my issues, it was inevitable. I don’t know how many times I apologized but there is nothing you can real say to make the hurt of be done wrong go away. I have tried over the years but I know it’s probably still there somewhere. We have had many talks since that time and even tried to see if we could work things out. But it didn’t. More misunderstanding eventually got the best of us. So we both moved on but never making a commitment that said, this is it, this is over. Because things left unsaid meant that there was always a chance that we would end back up together one day. Well that time has finally come that I say good bye in that sense and move forward with my new wife. With that said, I wanted to thank you for all the good times, let go of the bad times and wish you all the happiness and joy that you can hope for as you move forward with your life. Know that I will always be here for you as you are still one of the best mothers in the world. A very good friend. And will always be a part of the Grant family. Continue to do all that you do for my babies. Good luck to you and thank you for all you have done for me. Don’t hesitate to get at me if you need too. Cause I will always be here. One.

Sincerely Ronde

Suspended In Time.....

2010-06-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

I thought I’d start this off by saying that time is so cruel. Lost time can not be made up. You can only make the time you have better. More meaningful. Because that's all you can do cause time waits for no man. This is my third deployment since 2003 and I can honestly without a doubt say I have lost 3 plus years of my life. Time from my marriage which in evidently ended in July of 2004. Time from my kids whom have all grown to be some of the most beautiful children I could hope for. Time from my fiancé whom I have not just lost 15 months of my own deployment but another 12 months from hers and and in the end, another 10 months from this current deployment. That's 7 months we have been together over the last 3 years. I wonder sometimes if our relationship can handle another year apart. That's what time does. It goes along never to be recovered. That's why so many little things are important to me. I value every time I get to hear the worlds I love you. I miss you. To hear my kids tell me in so simple words of what they did in school. Of seeing my daughter on webcam talking so seriously about nothing at all. Of seeing my fiancé on webcam doing her hair. Of reading on FB that the ppl I love and care about are thinking of me even though their lives have to continue on. I don't know if I can do this again. Leave home again. Leave my family again for yet another deployment and hope that though that time, that our love keeps us together. That's allot to expect of ppl. And it bothers me. It bothers me to think that 2 months into this deployment, I am already so weary that 10 more months seem so fucking far away. Like how are we going to make it. Then I look at that time and think of how much I am going to miss. I wont see my fiancé return from her deployment. I wont be able to sit in the gym and watch her march back in. I wont be able to take her home. She will come back to an empty home with an unmade bed that I didn't have time to make cause I was rushing to make it back to my other home. there wont be food in the house. All the plans I was thinking about to welcome her home will never happen cause I cant be there. I wont get to have my kids over every other weekend. No long drives where they fall asleep on me every single time. Smile. No video games with my son. No funny faces from my daughter. No hiding my Iphone from my youngest baby. I miss yall. I truly do. With every breath in my body. There is no way I can make up for this time lost. Only make the time we do spend together mean more. Take advantage of the 2 short weeks we get to see each other. So that you will remember those times when you miss me. Like I remember everything about the time we spent together. I love you. I miss you. And while I'm away this time, keep living, keep growing, and keep me with you all the time. Cause you are definitely with me. One.

If It Aint One Thing....WTF....

2010-03-29T13:33:00.000-07:00

I have to say this. Because Im back on my writing shit right now. And I have to get this off my chest. What was said to me started out like this. Ronde, this is going to be harsh but...The story then went on to this. My Son belives that I favor Destiny over him and Janae. I asked, how would you let him say that and you not kill that thought. Why would some shit like that be validated. Cause its so not true. That I havent called my kids in two weeks. Another lie. That I was supposed to pick the kids up this weekend and that because I didnt, I was wrong. Even after I got told to dont worry about it. After I had set up a ride for them to come down and after I left a couple messages the night prior about it and got nothing in response. This, after we talked earlier that day about it and what I was trying to set up. Then I get a call at 2 in the afternoon the next day asking what was I going to do. After the ride I secured for them coming my way had already left. Cause of course, if I was going to see them, I would have to drive the 4 hours that I drive every other weekend. I swear on my life. I do all I can to see my children without killing myself. Bending over backwards to see them. Making that drive, every other weekend cause I want them to know that I am here and a apart of thier life. I want them to see that I am making an effort to spend time with them. No matter whats going on on my life. I have always put them first. Even in front of myself. So, to be told that if I see them I see them. Is complete bullshit. Its a slap in the face by the woman that I also bend over fucking backwards to support. Who never complains when I send what she needs when she needs it. Who I ensure is taken care of because she takes care of my children. Who in the 9 months that I have been in Schweinfurt have only come to pick up the kids 1 time have the fuckin nerve to say to me. I got this. I will take care of them. If you see them you see them. Thats complete and utter disrespect to me and all I stand for. And to let my Son say what he said and not fix it on the spot. And to let my daughter get on the phone when she feels like it when I call. That hurts. I dont know if Im coming back from this deployment or not. I dont know what the future holds for me. But I will not be made to feel like I am being less than a Father to my children because I have given my life to them. Other than letting them live with me full time, which they mother wouldnt allow, there is nothing more I can do to show them that I am who I say I am. And GOD knows I aint perfect, but I try when it comes to them. I forgo my happiness more than often so they can be happy. So, I dont know if there is anything else to say. I'm tired. And I deserve more respect than that. I am on my fucking way to a deployment and this is the shit I have to put up with. I just dont believe it. Period. One.

Next Chapter....Just the Beginning....

2010-03-29T12:26:00.000-07:00

Well Fam, I'm out again. And without saying to much, its time to get started again. I'm kind of torn between the me that wishs I could be here, raising my Dante, Janae and Destiny, and the me that wants to go get this thing started so I can get back, to my Dominique, Dante, Janae and Destiny. Smile. I swear, its been a long 3 months since I got the news. And its been very trying on myself and my Fam. Every minute of it. Having to let my babies know I had to leave for the 3rd time in thier short years. And having to take my Destiny home to my Mom while I and her mother are taken because of our jobs. Its been hard. Living in an empty house for the last 2 months except for every other weekend. Working long hours with many late nights. And after all of that, Im still not personnally ready. I still have tons to do. Still have to get my bills in order. Turn my cars in. Hell, its so much I have to start writing this shit down. And to tell the truth, Im truely tired. I almost feel like the next rest Im going to get is when I get on the plane to where Im going. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy but its the truth. Im praying that all is well where I am. And Im praying that all goes well with my Fam while Im away. I pray that they know that I am doing this for them. That everything I do is for them. I pray that they know I am not leaving because Im selfish but out of a sense of duty to the profession that I have chosen. I pray that they know that I will be home as soon as I possibly can. Because its hurts me to be away from them as much as it hurts them that I am not around. But, I will make sure Im doing what I am supposed to. By staying truthful and faithful to my Fam the way Im supposed to. To stay in touch as much as humanly possible. To write letters so they are surprised when they walk to the mailbox and find just a few words to let them know that Im thinking of them. Always. Last thing, I do what I do because this is who I am. A Soldier. A Father. A Fiance. A Son. A Brother. An Uncle. And anything else you can name. I have to go for now. I'll be back soon. Very soon. Cause thats just what I do. So, on to the next chapter. Stay tuned. One.

A Good Weekend

2009-11-15T03:23:00.000-08:00

This weekend was pretty good. It was a weekend where I got my kids Dante and Janae so I looked forward to it. Helps me relax having them around. And even though I end up yelling half the time, its a whole lot better having them here. Also, it gives Destiny someone to play with. This week, I was able to leave work early to go to Mannheim and pick them up. Normally, I don't get there till around 9pm and the night is almost over. This time, I got them at 2pm. We had to make it back to Schweinfurt so that I could attend a Hail and Farewell. I had to play like 12 euros per person so that added up quickly. To be totally honest, I could have spent much less on just ordering the regular way. And the kids only ate scraps anyway. They didn't like what was served. But it was cool. They didn't act out so that's always a bonus. When we got home, we just chilled out and watched some kids movies. When the night was over, I had to send them to bed cause they wasn't trying to fall asleep. I played a few games of Madden till my eyes wouldn't stay open anymore.

Saturday we were supposed to go do some exploring for a kids world or something. They day ended up not starting till late because I had to let Destiny take her nap. Otherwise she gets cranky and unbearable. So I ran to the commissary and picked up some food. Also, I got them the new UP movie. So we watched that while waiting for Destiny to wake up. When she got up, we decided to go to the place I thought was the kids world but it ended up being a kids store. I was like F-it. We going bowling. The kids said that was cool so that's what we did. We got in there and during the first game, the kids started talking about how hungry they were. I was like okay, Pizza it is. So I ordered some pizza and continued to bowl. I was off to a alright start, but the kids were beating me. They had the bumpers up so it was like they could throw the ball anywhere and it would go down the lane. Even Destiny was up there in numbers. As for me, I was keeping pace with them. The pizza came and we took a dinner break. Dante was the first one finished so he was ready to keep on going. So, I let him bowl mines and Janae bowled Destiny's since we was still at the table eating. Danted proceeded to throw gutter ball after gutter ball when it came to bowling my hand. No bumpers for me. So, he ended up winning that game. Of course. He sabotaged me. Lol. The second game would be much different though. I came out hot. 2 spares in a row. Plus 9 to follow. I started out hot. Then Destiny went and farted. Me, thinking she took a dump I took her out to get changed. Dante proceeds to not wait for me and again rolls a few gutter balls in my absence. Of course. He was trying to sabotage me again. When I got back, I was like hell, you could have waited for me. But it was cool. I ended up winning that game. I smashed him on the final 3 rolls. I ended up getting a 130. That was huge. Lol. Dante finished with 100. And Janae and Destiny finished up a few less than that. We came back home and watched some more movies and before we could call it a night, the kids was like they was hungry again. Hot dogs do come in handy at times. After that, off to bed. They was fighting sleep. I watched some of a movie and started to get tired myself. So, off to bed. It would be an early morning.

As predicted, the kids were up bright and early running around. I ain't climb out the bed until 1030. That's my sleep in time. I got up and the house was a mess. I swear. I had to shut down the running around and have them clean up a bit. Then, I asked Dante what they wanted to eat, cereal or eggs. He said eggs. So, I got my cooking hat out and started getting them fed. Dante decided to chip in and make the eggs. He prepared them from start to finish. I had to do the final touches but the eggs were all him. I made some turkey bacon, maple sausages and biscuit's. We flushed it all down with some OJ. Now we watching UP for the second or third time. I'm finishing up washing clothes and we chilling. Its been a good weekend. I still got to make that 4 hour drive but its all good. I feel great. Gonna go hit the showers and soak it all in. Tomorrow starts another week but I'm ready. Lets go.

Thinking Out Loud.......

2009-10-12T12:40:00.000-07:00

Late one night last week, I was up thinking. Life is hard. I was down on myself. I was down on the way things were going on at work. And I was down on how things were progressing themselves here at home. Seemed to me that I had become overwhelmed. With everything. One of those times when you have to throw your hands up and cry. If you have any tears in you. Seems that I have a problem with that. That when I want to cry, all that comes out is a smile. Cause my dauther always smiles. Even when she is in a heap of trouble. So I have to smile. Even though I'm feeling like shit. Even though I'm feeling like everything around me is failing. Even myself. Failing because I feel like it doesnt matter what I do, shit is gonna be fucked up. And I can look at myself all day. But I know I am not the problem. More like the solution if I had any time. Time to make a difference. I remember when I was a private and I would think to myself that these muthafuckas dont have a life. They dont like they life or they family so they dont want to go home. I used to say that all the time. The truth of the matter is, that I do want to go home. However, shit is never right. Shit is never to standard. And its like pulling teeth to make it so. I dont know what happened to the gene pool of strong NCOs. Of NCOs that could look a Soldier in the face and tell them they fucked up. Who can counsel a Soldier and make the fuckin cry cause they shit aint together. Who can write an NCOER without it coming back 5 times. Like I fuckin wrote it myself. Who can write an award as if it were their own. Who could act like they care without kissing a Soldier's ass. I dont know what happened to them. Somewhere they went missing like WALDO. All I have to say is I'm here. One of the few left standing. Now, I have to reach down and constantly teach. Contantly stay on the asses of SFCs and SSGs who aint cutting it. Who cant seem to do the things required of them. I know its a hard job. I have done it. But, I also know that sometimes, its not how Soldiers feel about you. As long as you are doing the hard right. Instead of the easy wrong. Kissing they ass. I have made up in my mind that I am not putting up with anything anymore. If that makes me the most hated 1SG in history, so be it. I can handle that. As my CSM told me, he will not let me fail. Cause if I fail, then he fails. I feel the same way. I wont let my PSGs fail, cause I am not a failure. I'm just gonna be in they ass like a donkey's tail. Cause the late nights and BS have to stop. Im tired. Very tired. And there is way to much to do. I'm just getting some BS off my chest b4 the next week arrives. So, as Diddy says, lets get it....... One.

Turth

2009-10-12T12:34:00.000-07:00

Some times, ppl just need to hear what they have to hear. And shit aint always sweet and cute. Sometimes the truth is what it is, the truth. And sometimes you have to understand, that when some ppl say things, they say them without a thought of you at all, but when i say things, its because I care about how you feel. I care about the same things you care about. Never let ppl take your spirit down. No matter how far you are way from me. No matter where you are in the world. Just stand up and do something about it. I have been saying that to you for I dont know how long. You shape your destiny and how you do in life. Not others, or thier words. So, get up and do something. Something good. Something that will move yours and my life forward. And know that I am behind you. 150%. Thats how it is, and thats how its gonna be. Now and forever. Like I said, if you need help, I'm here. Destiny is here. And we will not let you down. That a promise. Love you. One.

P.S. Fuck what the haters have to say and get hot.

Long, Long Time

2009-10-01T12:03:00.000-07:00

Hey World. I been gone for a minute now Im back again, back again. Heard that on a song once. But the truth is, I have been busy. When I look back at the last 3 months, I been doing a ton of things. Raising a daughter on my own. Thats completely new to me cause Im used to having Dominique with me. Then, Im running a company. Thats a different beat in itself. 52 strong and growing daily. Thats 52 different ppl, with 52 different attitudes and 52 different problems. I'll say this, it aint a job for the weak hearted. Lol. Then, I took a trip back to the states to visit with fam. It had been 5 long years so it was a welcome trip. Everyone had grown in that time. I really missed allot. It was a great trip too. I got to catch up on allot. And to be honest, I could talk for days on that but its a different blog in itself. I'll just said that its what I needed. From both sides of the aisle. The kids had the most fun. Its the first time since they were babies that they went back to visit family. They talked on the phone from time to time but to be there watching them interact with their cousins, was great. I loved it. Even told me they didnt want to go back to Germany. As Janae would say, I want to stay in America. Smile. Now that we back in Germany, Dante has started back up playing soccer. He playin for a German team now. He started the 3rd grade too. Its still pretty early, but Im sure he will do just fine. Janae started 1rst grade. She had a ceremony and I was happy I got to be there. You should have seen her. Beautiful. Check her out on my FB page. Smile. Destiny is being Destiny. A super grown 2 year old with tons of personality. Everyone says she looks like me, but I cant tell. My head is way bigger than hers. She does make the faces though. I say she looks like her momma. As for me, Im just trying to stay afloat. I have so much on my plate that I had to let the least important of things go. Cant really name them cause I would guess that they are not that important. I'll think of them sometime down the line and pick them back up. I also, try and support my baby in Iraq. We talk every night. And thats a good thing. It keeps me sane. Smile. Her too. Plus, she gets to see her baby so thats a great thing in itself. Well, I have to go. I need to keep on, keeping on. Living life as they say, looking four to six weeks ahead but making sure the day to day gets taken care of. To be honest though, I wouldnt want it no other way. Im out. One.

See You Later......

2009-07-11T22:34:00.000-07:00

I have started this like 4 times already. I got half way down the page when I just erased it. It never said what I wanted it to say. I'm realizing that with so much to say at a time like this, there is no way I can put it all into words. I'll just summarize it like this. Its going to be hard not having you here with me and Destiny. Its going to be hard going to sleep at night without you. Then awaking to realize that you are not there. You are a central part of our lives. Me and Destiny. And its going to be hard not having you there for us. But know this, we are here for you. We will be waiting on every phone call, every ding on messenger and every email with your name on it. And you can expect all the same from us. I will make sure that every night before bed, when Destiny says her prayers, that she says a prayer for her mother. And I will do the same. I will make sure that she doesn't forget you. That's a promise. On my life. I will sum it up now and say that I love you. Destiny loves you. And we cant wait until you come home. We will be here for you. You be safe and come home to us. We will be waiting......

Love Ronde

P.S. Right after I find a suitable care provider for Destiny, the next thing I will be doing is finding her a suitable hair dresser. Smile. Love you......

Has It Been That Long

2009-04-17T23:55:00.000-07:00

I just woke up. Got cleaned up and am now waiting for 10am to hit so I can hit the gym. I want to get a 3 mile run in on the tread mill. Its raining out so I cant hit the streets. Its cool though. I checked my page a minute ago and saw that I haven't been here since mid March. That's a while. So I feel like I needed to get back to writing. Let the world know whats been going on.

So, here goes. April has been a long month. And I'm only half way through. On the work front, I am finding out that I'm not nearly as organized as I thought I was. Or better yet, I do not have any of my own time to complete half the tasks that I have to accomplish. I am working my way through that though. I had a Change of Command this week. Got a new Commander. The old one was a great guy. I was skeptical going in, but he was on his shit if you know what I mean. After 18 months on the job, you should be. He taught me allot in this short month and a half. I'm almost said to see him go. Now, the task is getting the new Commander on board as quickly and as smoothly as possible. We had our sit down early and established some things right off so I think we are going in the right direction. I'm looking forward to see where this goes. I was feeling like we were just trying to keep the ship righted until the COC. Now, we can look to establishing and building on a good company. The first challenge is to ensure the mass exodus of personnel get out of here the right way. Then, we have a big move this summer. So, work will be work. And work will happen. There is no way around it. Going forward, I'm working to get more organized as a unit. So that we have more predictability and the moral stays high. I have a great company, and I want to keep things that way.

On the personal front, I was trying to get college going this month. Just ran out of time and really needed some guidance on what way to go. While I was down range, I messed up a few classes due to being scatter brained. Took to many classes at once and was only able to keep up with one at a time. Before I knew it, I was below the required GPA to get some free college. I talked with a guidance counsel at the Ed Center and he told me I could use some of my GI bill to until I bring my GPA back up to where it needs to be. I will have that setup by the summer session. And be back on my way.

On the family front, Dante and Dominique's Birthday are next week. I'm gonna do something special for them. I already wrapped up getting the gifts, and I still got one or two things to do, but its all coming together near the finish line. It always does. On another note. Destiny and Janae are doing well. We are working on getting Destiny's Birth Cert. The plan is give her my last name. Yippie. I'll keep yall posted on that.

I am trying to balance my time so that I give my family the time they deserve and not neglect them with all the hours at the office. I will say this. Any woman married to a 1SG has a hard job. That's why all them 1SGs cry when they mention they wives at they CORs. Cause the job really takes away from they family and they made it though. Lol. I feel their pain. Well, I'm going to close this out now. I'll be back in a few weeks. Keep checking back. One.

Leaning Back.....

2009-03-12T12:38:00.001-07:00

Hello all. I been missing in action for a long minute. Sorry about that. Just been going through some life things that I don't think I needed to put on here. So, I felt it better to deal with life and then come back when things slowed down for me again. Well, things haven't slowed down and to be totally honest, I don't know if they ever will. I don't know how I feel about that but I have to go forward as I normally do. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. That me in a nutshell for the most part.

I been away for awhile in school. In the meanwhile, my life was going to hell in a hand basket. No details, but I will say this, for every step I took forward, my lifes situations however, had me two steps backwards. Lol. That's life. Fuck what all the ppl say. Lol.

But I'm back now. Back on my grind. I been waiting a long minute to get to this point. Seems odd that someone would want to go to work, but I did. I wanted to get to the PT everyday. I wanted to get to the structure of work. The Soldiers, the grind. I been missing that the last few years I been in the 3shop.

So, this past week has been a blur. Work, work, work. I don't think I made it home before 8pm all week. Thankfully, I had mines at home to greet me. To spend the few hours a day that I do get to myself. That's what has energized me to get up and keep doing what I have been doing. And the funny part is, I'm just starting. So, tonight, I'm going to lean back. Not do work, just lean back and chill.

And no, the other issues, they haven't went away. I'm still dealing with life as usual. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, and second by second. Hoping, that all the BS in my life goes away. Plain and simple. Cause I'm tired. Please believe me. One.

Been A Minute

2009-01-28T15:01:00.000-08:00

Hey. I been gone for a minute. Been on leave. If u can call it that. Didnt do anything special. Wish I could have taken a trip or something but didnt want to do it alone so hey, I suffered locally. At least I got to sleep in on some days. Hell, been so used to getting up early that I woke up early dam near every day that I wasnt drunk when I layed down. All in all though, it was a very relaxing time. Got to spend time and catch up with my people. So, thats good. But, I couldnt help thinking things were business at times. I also got back and started the usual redeployment shopping sprees. Dammit. lol. I did good for the most part for the first two weeks or my return, but my list from Iraq was burning a big ass hole in my pocket. So, I had to let some of that money I made down range go. But, it went to a good cause though. I'll say this, mostly everything I bought, I will be able to see and enjoy for the next 6 months. Hell for the next few years from my stand point. Thats what make spending money worth while. Being able to see what u spent. Besides that, I been working for the most part. Been in the gym a couple times a week. Maybe three. Been working this First Sergeant Phase 1 Course. Its like hell on wheels. I been workin on this dam thing for at least the last 2 weeks. Its burning a serious hole in my personal time. Seriously. I got to get this shit done cause I need a break. Was workin on that bitch while I was on leave. Now its to the wire so I got to lock in and get er done. Lol. I have had some good support here so thats a good thing. I'm off leave now so I have been going to work every now and then. I'm taking over B Co, 44th ESB. Wow. It seems like only yesterday that I used to be standing outside a s PVT in that same company getting pick on for piss tests. Lol. Yeah, that was my first company, now I am coming back as the 1SG. How the world turns. As I said before, someone has been looking out for me cause for me to make it here, its truely a blessing. In my eyes, I was the last one to make it to this point but truthfully, from all the ppl I started with, I'm the only one to make it this far. And this quick. So I have to say thanks to many. Seriously. Cause I been with my back to a corner many a time in situations that would have me sitting in my living room right now, but somehow, I made it here. So, thank u again. To everyone who have had a hand in putting me here, good and bad. Smile. All I can say is that I'm going to do my best and things will be how they be. I can only be me. And as always, I cant leave without mentioning my babies. Dante, Janae, and Destiny. In my easiest words, I am easing my way back into thier lives. They have been doing good since I left. Dante is in the second grade. Though he is having his issues here and there, he is going to be well. I have watched him work and he seems to be enjoying school. Janae had to sit out another year because of her age, but she is ready for 1st grade. She is super smart and I feel like she is truely missing out right now cause she is ready. But come August, she will be in the 1st grade. And from what I can tell, she will be way ahead of her classmates. Smile. As for Destiny, I get to see her more because of our situation. She has recently been moved to another class. I guess a older class since she is now 18 months. All I can say is that she is learning alot. I dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. She has changed though, just in these last few weeks. Picking up all kinds of bad habits from the older kids. Lol. Now she folding her arms and curling her lips. Lol. That funny cause when I seen it the first time, I was like, DAM, thats new. But, she will be okay. I wont let her get suck into the system. Got to keep her straight. So, here is me for the next few weeks. I go in to B CO and start my transition with them. Then, on 12 Feb 09, I will be frocked to 1SG. We have our uncasing of the colors with the old 1SGs, and then after that is complete, I will take over the company. No real change of responsibilty. No pictures or memories. Just an appointment. But, there is so much going on that I understand. I said it like this. I dont need anything big. So it will be okay. I will video as much as I can, so at least I have something, so, it will work itself out. Someone asked me if Im ready. All I can say is that I am ready as Im going to be. Plain and simple. Im going to go in and be me. Cant do much else. I believe that I will be okay though. My peers are taking thier companies the same way and the same day so it will be straight. Well, I have to get out of here. I wont be gone so long next time. Sorry for taking this long. Im out, one.

The Xmas Eve Reunion

2009-01-10T12:49:00.000-08:00

I said I was gonna talk about this in my last post. So here it is. What I had set up for my reunion with my kids was this. In Germany, children open up some of their gifts on Xmas eve. So, my plan was to surprise Dante and Janae on Xmas eve. Kind of like one of their presents. So, this is how it went down.

Jennifer and her family had dinner around 530pm Germany time. I was supposed to show up at about 6pm, but I am notorious for showing up late to everything. Lol. So, I made it there like 730pm. Couldn't figure out what to wear. Lol. Anyways, I was meeting them at the Oma's house which is about 3 mins from my spot. I called Jen to let her know I was on the way so she sent them upstairs to play. I came in the house and sat down on the couch in the corner so I was kind of out of the way. Then, Jen called the kids down to open up their presents for the night and down the stairs they came running. Dante came in first with Janae and her cousin right behind him. They went straight for the tree. I was sitting there smiling cause they didn't see me. Dante started picking up presents and started looking at everybody. He must have looked past me like 5 times cause he was moving so fast. Then, it was like I just appeared out of nowhere. He stopped mid track like, DADDY!!!!! He dropped everything and ran over to hug me. Janae was right behind him. We hugged for what seemed like forever. After that, they opened some gifts and came right back over to me. Jen was like, its okay Dante, Daddy is back for good. So you can let him go. Smile. It was a cool night though. I stayed for a few hours and told the kids I'd be back for them in the morning. It was one of them one things where you had to be there. I got to see my in-laws and everything. I somehow forgot my camera. So I have no pictures of that night. So, its all a good memory now. I'm out. One.

Home - The Reunion

2009-01-07T14:46:00.001-08:00

Its hard to figure out how to do this. I got home on the 24th of December but I want to take you though each step. So, this will be like a 5 part mini series or sorts. Maybe more, maybe less. Just keep reading and follow along.

The trip from Iraq to the house took about 4 days. We got lucky. The companys scheduled to leave before us got pushed back to the 25th. That sucked ass cuz there was absolutely nothing to do in Kuwait. Lol. We got out on time though. I was truely thankful for that. Hell, I even went out and helped the baggage detail load our shit on the plane. They was taking too long for me. Lol. To be honest, I was happy to be on a detail. I was the counter. Yeah, a SFC (P) a counter. I had to stand at the door of the plane counting ppl. Lol. Such laziness is rediculous. For that, I got to ride in First Class. Lol. Wow, I have to say, I have been flying for years and I have never, I mean never, even came close to flying in first class. But on 23 Dec 08, as a counter of all things, I got to ride back from Iraq in First Class. Anyways, I got a few perks but, they didnt serve Cristall like they do in the videos. Lol. It was straight though. I got to stretch out that day. No knees in the seats or nothing. Enough of that though.

The touchdown in Germany happend in Ramstein. Got to see our new 5th Sig Cdr. Gen Smith. Greeted us at the plane. If you dont know how it is to come home from Iraq, its like this. Everyone and they momma wants to say something. You just want to say, SHUT THE FUCK UP...... Lol. There is really nothing ppl can say to you that will take your mind off of coming home. We stayed at Ramstein for like 2 hours doing the customs thing. Then, we unloaded our stuff out of a truck to turn right around and reload it. Wow. Shortly after that, we reloaded buses for our long awaited return to Mannheim.

I'll fast forward to the ride through the gate. We rolled in to signs welcoming us back everywhere. Ppl did it big with the signs. We was in like 5 buses when we pulled up to the back of the gym. We got off the bus and went into company formations. They told us how we was going to march in and then the doors opened. All you could here was a thunderous roar of cheering and yelling. Marching in was like being in a music video. It was surreal. We was standing there in formation in front of what seemed like a million ppl. Dominique and Destiny made it out. I seen them out the corner of my eye at the very top of the bleachers. When everyone finished talking to us, they released us and told us to go be with our families. Everybody scattered. A few friends came up and said hello. D & D came down and gave me a rose and I gave them a hug and kiss and was like lets be out. And I was out. Deployment over. Next up, 7 days reintegration. I'm back, and out. One. (Dante and Janae didnt come because I had previously set something else up for Xmas Eve with them. I'll tell that story later. It was great.)

Good Bye Iraq, Again

2008-12-16T19:42:00.000-08:00

Hello All. Well, the time has come to say good bye. Good bye. Good bye. Good bye, for now anyway. On my way home shortly. Cant say specifics as you all already know. Just know that I will be home soon. This has been a super long 14 and a half months. And to be totally honest, I don't know what to say. There is so much that I would like to say but cant find the words. If you want to know if this deployment has changed me, I'd have to say absolutely. This has been sort of an Iraq part 2 thing. Second tour to a place that I promised myself I wasn't coming back to. And the funny part is, who knows how many more times I might have to come back. That's the fucked up part to all of this. That's the life of the military I guess. I wanted to say thanks for all the support that you all have shown me though out my time away. I really needed it. And I really appreciate what each of you was able to give me. If it was your letters, emails, care packages, your supportive ears, or just following along in my blog. I appreciate it all. Thanks. As for me writing this blog, it was good for me. Allowed me a release for my thoughts. That's needed for this place. And it will continue. So, continue to read the Life and Times..... I will continue to send you my thoughts, my life's updates and anything else that I think will interest you. So, thank you all. I love you all. One.

janae - my baby

2008-12-12T18:49:00.000-08:00

hey babe. its been a long time since we talked. you don't really like talking on the phone. a bunch of short words for the most part. but i always get a chance to get "i love you" out before you hand it off. it always brings a smile to my face when i talk to you and your brother. just wanted you to know that. well, your birthday just passed. the big 6. i wish i could have been there. but we will celebrate big when i get back. with cake and everything. thats still a few weeks off so don't worry. i wont forget. i was thinking about you the other day. got allot of time to do that here. i was thinking of all the things that i have been able to enjoy with you. and of all the times i have missed. remember the song we made up for the long rides to my house, that one where i be like "that's my Nay Nay" and you come back with "that's my Daddy". going back and forth. most ppl wont get it, but they had to be there. or, when i lean down to tie your shoes, you kiss me on my head and say "daddy, i love you" or "umm daddy, you smell so good". lol. that kind of stuff makes my day. they say though that you a baby girl will steal your heart. you have. without question. it seems though that you like having me around just as much as i do you. like i bring out the toughness in you. i remember when you decided you wanted to play soccer, and me and your mom had to take turns watching both games, when you fell and started crying. i came down from dante's game and picked you up, and was like "stop crying" and you stopped. then i asked you if you still wanted to play. and you was like yeah, and ran back into the game. lol. that was funny. then, there are the days when i am just sitting there on the couch, and you come up to me, grab my cheeks, and just give your daddy a kiss. like you knew that's what i needed at that time. and believe it or not, i did. you do so much and have made me a better man. one day, i'm sure it will make you mad when i threaten to kill every boy you will ever like. lol. but don't hold a grudge forever. just remember i'm doing it because i love you and don't want no one to hurt my little girl. smile. and if anyone does, let me know. i'll call my ppl that know some ppl and we will make some things happen. well babe, i have to go. i love you. p.s. i will always be here for you and if you need anything let me know. and, you may one day watch a movie where one of the main characters say "you had me at hello". you will understand. love you again. one.

Happy Thanksgiving; Be Thankful

2008-11-26T22:44:00.000-08:00

Hello All. Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving Day. And a happy holiday season to close out 08 and run into 09. This is my unit's second straight Thanksgivings Day here in Iraq and lets just say that I miss home. Everyone feels this way I'm sure. So what I want to say is no matter where you are, what family member you are with, or whatever it is that you going to eat, enjoy it, cherish it. Because there are so many of us unable to do that. We gonna have a spread here in Iraq. Oh, we will eat. There is a super feast at the Oasis and the Coalition Dining Facilities that will have just about everything you could ever imagine eating. The military is doing everything they possibly can to make sure we have the best meal possible. And for that I am thankful. But nothing can make up for being around family. Any of you. And to be truthful, I wouldnt have to be eating shit. Lol. I'd just rather be home. So, as you sit down this afternoon to whatever, remember us. Say a prayer for what you do have and enjoy it, cherish it and remember, I love yall, miss you all and want more than ever to be there enjoying this Thanksgiving with you all. One.

Obama - President Elect '08

2008-11-04T22:50:00.000-08:00

History was made today. And I was alive to see it. I watched the news tonight from Iraq where I watched Obama defeat McCain in a very good fashion. At first, I didn't know how to feel. I was at work so I couldn't jump up and down. I basically had to show no emotion because I was in an office with some McCain supporters. I think everyone knew Obama was going to win. But we watched as each State sent in there selections. Waiting. Until they made the final announcement. I had the oppurtunity to vote this year so it was extra special for me. As I had a few mishaps with the system in the previous two elections. As soon as NBC announced that Obama had won, smart allict remarks started flowing out of someone's mouth. A person who just opened his mouth stating that he didnt vote had the nerve to say something negative about Obama. I happened to be online with my father at the time so I mentioned it to him. He told me to not feed into it. Not to let the nay sayers reign on our time of celebration. On the 200 years of being under others to finally have one of our own in the highest seat in America. The response I gave the person was that in America, blacks aren't the majority, we are a minority. So, in order for America to elect a black president, whites had to vote for him too. Next I told him that if he didnt vote, he really has nothing to say. I left it at that. I did keep getting funny smiling looks like someone was waiting for me to celebrate somehow, but, they got nothing in return. All business. I got a few emails stating how not to act when Obama won and all I will say is this. I will conduct myself the same manner as I have always have. As a man. I told my father that I didnt know how I felt at first. Then I came back as things settled in, I would equate this victory to the feeling I had when I had my children. Finally, being able to look them in his or her face and tell them that one day, they can be president and actually mean it. So, I am happy. Happy to be a part of history. Happy for Obama. Happy for my people who have endured. Happy to say that I had a hand in selecting the first black president in United States history. I wish him all the best in his journey forward because he has a long hard road ahead. Because for everyone wishing him well, there are another 3 hopeing he fails. There are many people who still think that blacks are inferior to whites. To them I say, we have proven over the years that we are capable of doing everything that whites are. Often times trying harder and working hard because we have too. Because for many of us, its engrained in our bloodlines. Passed to us from our mothers and fathers who grew up at a time when things were not easy for us. So, give us a chance. So, to all the nay sayers out there, I say this. He can't do any worse then the previous 43 presidents, so give him a chance. I think he will surprise you. I'm sure he will CHANGE your outlook going forward. One.

Feel A Cold Coming On........

2008-10-17T12:47:00.001-07:00

Dam. I feel like shit. Woke up yesterday and my throat was hurting. One of those hurt to swallow things. I went by the TMC and they said it was after hours and that I would need to come back tomorrow morning. That was last night. They did however give me some throat things and some motrin (what the fuck does a soar throat have to do with motrin). Anyways, these muthas think that motrin is the cure all. You could go in there with your dam arm hanging off and they will give you some motrin. That must be one of the first things they teach medics. If all esle fails, give them a motrin and kickem out the door. Lol. Just joking for all you medics out there who might happen by this page. Yall do yall thing over here. However, when I show up at the TMC at 2000 because I work nights, and you got like 5 people sitting in that bitch watching TV, then I think I should be able to get seen. My arm shouldnt have to be hanging off to get looked at. Could have taken 10 mins to get me in and out. Dam. But you know what they said, its not an emergency so we will see you in the morning. LAZY Bastards. I know, I'm tripping. So, anyways, I go to work last night feeling like shit cuz I got that COLD thing coming on. It just aint hit me all the way yet. But I know its coming cuz it do it to me like this all the time. Like clockwork. I made it through the night and go to the TMC again, this morning. I started not to go cuz they be having you in that bitch for like hours for some simple shit. But I looked in since I live next to it and there was only like 4 people there. So I'm like cool. I'll drop my shit off and come right back. I live right there remember. Well, I get to my room, drop my bag, walk right back out the room and right back to the TMC. Cuz I live right there. Well, I walk in that bitch and like 2 more muthas was sitting there. I'm like fuck. These slow bastards gonna have me in this bitch for like an hour for some simple shit. Well, after signing in, the dude calls me back like 5 mins to get blood pressure and temp and send me back to the waiting room. I'm sitting there for like 20 minutes. Finally, they call me back. I sit there for like 2 mins answering questions about how I feel. What my symptoms are. I'm like right now, this is how I feel. But in my mind I'm like, that heavy shit aint hit me yet. And I know its coming. So, I get my little meds they prescribed thats supposed to dry me out. Knowing them shits aint going to work. I make it home by 0910L. Take my first set of pills and lay it down. I ended up laying there for like 2 hours watching Martin: Season 5. Couldnt sleep for shit. And dont know why. Probably this cold coming on. I woke up at like 530pm to some banging on my door. I had woke up like 20 tiimes before them. Couldnt get comfortable. Maybe I should have taken some motrin. Lol. Turns out, I had a basketball game in like a half hour. Shit. Plus, I feel like shit cuz, its here. That dam cold that had been coming his here. My throat stopped hurting some, but now, my nose is running and I'm starting to sneeze. Shit. I hate this shit. But I go to the game anyway cuz a little physical activity aint never hurt nobody. I was laggin though. I had to hit the BR once b4 the game and. This shit sucks. I played like 7 mins in the first half and was laggin. Noticably. By the time the second half started, I was on my way for my second trip to the BR. Missed most of the second half in the BR. No sweat though. I didnt feel like getting back on the floor anyway. Was tired. We won anyway so no big deal. Hell, when I was in the game I was moving like pond water so no need for me to stay in there suckin the place up. Like I said, we won, made the playoffs. Good shit there. But, now that the game over, I have to go back to my room and get ready for work. And I hate work. Everything about it. Lol. 6 days a week, 52 weeks a year, and 12 more weeks tacked on. 15 months of this shit. Anyways. I get back to my spot and leave out to go to the showers. On the way, trip 3 to the BR. This is becoming a habit. Plus, I'm sick. So fuck making it to work on time. Thats how I feel. If they cant understand that, then to hell with them. Cuss me out. I dont care. After that last BR stop, I finally get clean. Thank you J. Lol. Feeling good, but now I got to make that move to work. Shits like a mile away so I dont really feel like walking. Cuz I'm sick. Plus, shift change is almost over. So I will just wait for a ride. 30 mins later, I'm like fuck, I could have walked to that bitch. Fuck. Aint nothing like standing on the side of the road at night waiting for a mutha to come get you. No offense. Just saying. You standing there and like 20 trucks drive past you and you like dam, where this muthas at. Finally, I get picked up and I'm like straight. Only to get in the truck to hear about some BS from shift change. And as I always say. Fuck it. And I think I can get away with it cuz I'm sick. Remember. That cold is here and it bolds well for noone that I will talk to for the next 24 to 48 hours. So stay out my way. Cuz this cold is a mutha. Make a mutha want to cuss everyone out who come out they mouth with something that sound the least bit funny. Pray for me yall. One.

Back On My Grind!!!!

2008-10-10T19:38:00.000-07:00

Its been close to a month since I came back to the Rack. First off, I just hit my year mark just yesterday. So we only got 90 long days left. I came back to see that I have changed to night shift for the next 90 days so thats cool. A lot less stress on night shift. So I get allot more me time. Been using mines by hitting the gym for the most part. Trying to get right as they say. Lol. I got a few goals to hit for the rest of my time here. I want to get my weight down close to 200lbs. And still maintain my menacing figure. Hell, I even cut back on my Blacks. Instead of one a day, I just smoke one when I absolutely need one. Then, half the time, I dont even finish them. I also want to save as much money as I possible can. The way things are going in the American economy, seems that it might be a good idean to have something tucked away for a few rainy days.

I got some good news the other day. Seems someone or some people saw fit to put me on the list to get promoted. I made the Master Sergeant list. Its been a long 15 years coming but I cant complain one bit. I know people been in past 20 years and havent made it yet. So I consider myself lucky and bless. All at the same time. Now I just have to wait till my sequence number comes up. I dont know how long that will take. Its all up to the system. When I made the list for Sergeant First Class, it took me over a year. I'll keep my fingers crossed that this one comes allot sooner. I have been having thoughts on who I want to promote me when that day comes and as of now, I think I want my Dante and Janae to promote me. Allot of people have had a part in getting me promoted so I will be sure to thank them all. It a big day coming.

I also got my ballot for this year's historic presidential vote. I have spoken to allot of people who aren't voting. I dont know why. Some people have said that there is nothing that the candidates are talking about that affects them. Like nothing that a president does is going to come back around. They cant see past themselves and I say that thats sad. In the words of that cat from Spike Lee's School Daze, WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Miss YOu!!!

2008-10-08T16:34:00.000-07:00

I was sitting here think of how much I miss you. And although this can be a long drawn out thing, I'm going to keep it short. And please dont be embarrased. This is not meant to do that. Smile.

I miss your smile. I see it in all the pictures you send me. And once in awhile when we web-camming. How the slightest funny thing said brings your face into the beautifulest smile.

I miss your smell. I have never a fan of perfumes for some reason. Always thought women put too much on. Still do. Lol. But, now that I have been away, I miss the smell of you walking by. That faint scent of your perfume on you filling my air. Like dam, that shit smell good.

I miss your look. No matter what you have on, you always look good to me. Whether its in some sweats, tight jeans, shorts or nothing, looking at you is like wow. The underwear you put on that hugs your waist and ass so perfectly.

I miss your touch. That hug and kiss on my way out the door. Thats hug when I come in the kitchen while you are cooking. Kissing the back of your neck. Those massages any time of the week without complaint. Your body ass it lays next to me naked when we fall asleep together.

I miss our love making. I'll email you this part. This is for your eyes only. Smile. Just imagine.

All that I have put into words, I say to say this. I miss you. Everything about you. Everything that we have had and everything that will come in the future. I love you. One.

Rest and Relaxation

2008-09-26T15:41:00.000-07:00

I been gone for a minute. I been away if you can say that. I actually got to go home for my Rest and Relaxation. Man, it was a long time coming. 11 months to be exact. I don't think I've ever been away from my family for that long. The time I been in Iraq seemed to fly by when I really think about it. So if 11 months flew by, 18 days seemed like a minute. And now, my R & R is up, and I am back in Iraq. Thinking back on it, I had a great time and I wouldn't change a thing.

I wasn't quite sure how things would be with me being away for so long. I had allot of open questions. Had me and my lady grown apart? Would my kids be distant or clingy? Would my new born not remember me? (That happened with Janae) Although I wasn't nervous going home, those things were on my mind. All those questions would be put to rest. When I got there, I got to spend allot of quality time with my lady, and all 3 of my kids. I have gotten to witness all the growing they have done over the past year and I have to admit, I was quite surprised. I cant go into how everyone has grown, that would take to long. It was just good to see the change and progress. My kids bonded right away. They seen each other a few times since I been gone, so that was no surprise. But I didn't see the jealousy thing that I sort of expected. Trying to give 4 people equal attention is hard to do in such a short time. And I knew that that was what I needed to do. So I tried my best. We did pretty much everything we could together. We hit up two amusement parks (Europa Park and Holiday Park), went swimming (The Miramar), went to every single shopping place you can imagine and went out to eat. Even when we weren't out doing something, the time was spent at home bonding and just being together. All of that was great. I really enjoyed myself and I hope each of them did too.

I have to admit though, when the last couple of days rolled around, I was ready to come back. Not because I wanted to get gone, I wanted to hurry up, get back here so I could get this thing done. I was thinking, the sooner I get back, the sooner I get back. If you can understand what I mean. I got four months left in this place and I hope they go by as fast as the first part. I miss being home already. I miss spending time my lady. I miss waking up to my kids standing over me smiling every morning. I miss hearing them talk German and have Dante turn around and explain to me what they was talking about. Shit, I miss everything about my experience at home. Dam, I cant wait to get back to my family. Till then though, I will be spending my days and nights thinking about them.

Well, that's about it for now. I will be back next week with another installment of the life and times of me. Hope you will be back to read some. One.

Why Men Cheat?

2008-08-07T12:59:00.000-07:00

Someone had the nerve to ask me this question the other day. I didn't really have an accurate answer because there is no one answer. And me being a man, I didn't want to expose all the other men in the world's secrets. Not that type of dude. So, I can only speak from my experiences. Not that I would cheat on anyone or anything. Not that type of dude. So here goes. And don't get mad cuz you ain't like whats being said. Dam, I think I need a drink for this.

I read somewhere and even heard somewhere that if you ain't doing something for your man, that another woman that will. That has to be one of the biggest things ever said as far as relationships go. So many women have hangups or issues. Its pretty easy for them to say they don't do this, or don't like that. Well, other woman will and does do those things that your man likes. That's a promise. And men know how to find them too. And if your man ain't ugly, and got game, then its a piece of cake. Don't get me wrong, this goes both ways, but I got asked why men cheat so that's what I'm speaking on.

Then, you have the women that withhold the pleasures of life from men because they are either upset with their men or worse, just playing them games. Enough of that will make any man stray. From where I sit, a man cant go but so long without the sweet, sweet touch of a woman. And unless the guy wants to handle that shit himself, then he is going to find another way. Another woman. And believe or not women, most other women could care less that you already have a woman, they will do that shit anyway. Most with hopes to steal your man away right from underneath your nose.

Then theres the constant nagging and insecurities. Men like women who are secure in themselves. Allot of women are insecure, therefore they constantly nag there good men about some bullshit. No matter how minimal that shit is. Woman can make an argument about just about anything. Given the right motivation. And then wont let that shit go. Guess what, another woman will take him in, let him talk about all his problems about you, then break that dude off. Have him thinking he wont have all these problems with her.

Lastly, some men cheat cuz they can. Don't matter how good you doing things. Making the house straight, feeding him, making his bathwater, sexin him up good all the time. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you cant and wont keep a man from cheating. Believe this or not, its just in some dudes nature. In their blood. That's what drives them and will drive them until they are ready to settle down. And don't think you can change him, because you cant. You cant trap him, because he knows his way around that shit too. So when you meet that cat, you can either love him or leave'm alone.

Well, I know that's allot to take in. And I don't know everything, but I do know this. Men are men. You cant change that. Many a woman has tried to change a man. And for all the ones who were successful, there were just as many failures. If you find yourself in this predicament, you just have to learn what you can live with and what you can not. Its that simple. I think that's enough for now. You don't have to agree with me on this. This isn't written in stone anywhere. I go all this info from through research and trail and error. So, take care of your man. Make sure he feels like he is the one. If you know what i mean. That's all I can really say I guess. If you need anymore info, holla at your boy.

P.S. Someone told me this too. Another reason is that men always want to know if there is something out there better then what they already have. The 80 20 rule. (Why Did I Get Married)

This is a Ron G. Production. 2008

Still Here!!!!!

2008-07-29T08:05:00.000-07:00

Hey All. I am just shooting this out to let everyone know that am doing okay for the most part. Cant wait till I get to go on R&R leave, but that time is fast approaching and I cant wait. I have had enough of this place to last for the rest of my life. And I mean that with all my heart. I have missed yet another year in my kids life. And this time is important because they are young and they are still in the molding phase. I have to date missed all my kids birthdays, Dante's 1 year of school, Janae's hugs and smiles, and Destiny's first steps. All of that in 10 months. So, when I get home, I have alot of catching up to do. A shot out to my babies mothers, thanks for all you have done raising my babies for the past year. I love yall for that and I appreciate everything yall do. As for me, I'm still work long hours. I could stand to hit the gym a little more, and I could do a little better in my college courses. So, I am trying though. But, for the most part, I feel like I am wasting another year of my life here. Somehow, I hope it all works out for the better. For the people of Iraq and for my family. Hopefully, me being here has made them stronger. More capable of handling life without my overbearing presence and reasoning. Smile. Well, I'm signing off for now. I'll be back soon though. One.

Mi Familia Pt 1

2008-07-03T14:19:00.000-07:00

If anyone knows me, they know I have love for two things, my family and music. And for 33 years, alls I can remember my Mom saying was, you can't choose your family, so live with it. I just wanted to say that thats true. For better or worse, like marriage, at the end of the day, thats all you have. Family. I love my family so this is an ode to you. Like music to my ears, family.

Its been 33 long years, you couldn't imagine, the many tears i cried in such a short time; from the tears and heartache you gave me, i knew that you would forever be my family; borne into and living life's fates, from that i need no escape, now or forever, I'm here for whatever; i got your back in any situation, no matter how hard a round your facing; and its live to know you got mines, while i climb up this ladder to success; to have you in my life, i know I'm truly blessed; cuz i been through my hi's but i also know about life depths; like you, so thank you, for being what you are when you can; took me from the boy into the man; that i am today, so again, i have to say, thanks for my family.

I used to could rap, but i'm rusty. Sue me. But for real, thank you for everything you have done to make me what i am today. Some people might not agree with me, but I think you done an excellent job. I love you all. My family.

My Destiny

2008-05-29T18:27:00.000-07:00

I wanted to start this off by saying that when I initially found out that you were coming, I was happy. Then I started thinking about my current situation and didn't want myself or you to be in the same situation that I currently live in. I already had two babies (Dante - Janae) that I couldn't be a full time father too, so I didn't want the possibility of a third child living the same way. So as hard as it is to say this, I didn't want another baby. I asked your mother to have an abortion. Your mother made the decision to have you and for that I am glad. I was being small minded and sometimes, I just let my mind get the best of me. I could only think of all the negative things that can cloud your mind when life isn't giving you exactly what you want. So, for that I am sorry. How can I ever make it up to you?????

I will start by telling you that in life, people sometimes make the wrong decision. I'll own up to that. So for that I am sorry. I wanted you to know that I named you. Bet you wondering where I got your name. Most people hear your name and say thats so cute. Destiny is such a great name for a baby that looks as good as you. (Got your looks from me and some from your Mama). Well, I got your name from a song. A cat named Govenor. Album called Son of Pain. Song called "Destiny". If you listen to the song, you will know exactly why I named you that. Destiny Iyana Grant. Destiny because you came into my life so sudden, in such a way that I cant explain. Like life delivering you to me. From that I took it like in everyones life has that one thing that they are to do, or become. Their destiny. You are my Destiny. Iyana because, from the time I was a boy, I wanted to name my first girl Iyana, but I let my sister use that. So, it still makes for a great middle name. And Grant, because I think that as any Grant can tell you, there is no better last name to have. A good name is the cornerstone to a good life. So, enjoy. You will also be happy to know that just like your brother and sister, I will be there for you. Now and forever, like my destiny.

So, a toast of Crown to my newest baby girl, Destiny. 1 years old on 29 May. Happy Birthday. Sorry so late baby.

My Sister The Award Winner

2008-05-26T02:01:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to give a shot out to my baby sister, Nikia Simon. She got selected by her company as 1 of 5 from the North America region for her Leadership in running the ACAP program at Ft. Campbell, KY. Because she was selected, she also received a trip to London for the award presentation. Thats an incredible feat. That shows just how much she does. Baby Sis, I know we talk sometimes about you not feeling appreciated and that you do so much. Well, this is your time to be recognized before the world. So congrats, because you earned it. Keep up the great work.

My Decision

2008-05-07T00:41:00.000-07:00

Today, I made a decision. I knew that there was a possibility that not everyone would agree with what decision I had to make. But a decision had to be made so I made it. And in my lifetime, I have found that its always going to be like that. Not everyone is going to be happy. And that is something that I have to live with. All I can do is hope and pray for the best.

I have decided that I am going to extend in Germany for one more year, then I'm coming home. What does that mean? That means that when I return from the desert in Jan 09, and when my 90 day window comes to an end, I will be in Germany for one more year. Then, I'm coming back to the states for good. I will be closing out my military career in that location, wherever it may be.

What else does that mean? I will be using that year to get things right with my kids, Dante and Janae. And to make sure they understand what is going on. They are both getting older and will more than likely not react well knowing that I am not going to be across town. My wishes are to have them near me in the states, so that I can continue to help raise them as I have been for the last 3 years, but as of now, the verdict is still out on that. But I'm going to keep trying.

What else does that mean? That me and my other child Destiny will be apart even longer. Being that she has not been around me enough to realize that I am not there, I feel like it will be easier for her to make the transition back to the states without me at this time. This does not mean that I am not going to be there for her. This also does not mean that I am choosing Dante and Janae over her. I am just trying to do what I think is best for everyone. So, I plan on seeing my Destiny during that year also. And during those times, she will get to know me better. And will hopefully get to know her brother and sister better also.

Anyone who really knows me knows that this was a very hard decision to make. And it took years to come up with this because I knew that eventually this day would come. So, there it is. My decision in a nutshell. I have thought this over and waited until it came down to the wire. So I really cant see it happening any other way. If anyone has any questions, feel free to hit me up or leave a message. I'll get back with you. One.

A Letter to My Dante

2008-04-24T22:48:00.000-07:00

I think that every man wants a son. Even though he might have the most beautiful daughters in the world, he still wants a son. So, in a family full of women, with a woman with nothing but sisters, I am proud to say that I have a son. And don’t get me wrong, I love all my children the same. That will never be a question, what so ever. I just wanted to say, how much I love my son. And it helps that his birthday was a couple days ago. And I had been having the hardest time trying to figure out how to word things. So, I took a few days to clear my mind so I could truly speak my mind. So, here is an open letter to my son, my Dante.

First of all, there is so much you have done in the 7 short years you have been here. So, where to start and begin I can’t truly say. I’ll just highlight some of the times when you truly made your dad say, “That’s My Boy”. The highlights are when you were born, of course, made me cry with happiness. When you started walking. On the day I found out you could stand, I rushed out and got you a walker. Dam it if you weren’t walking a few days later. Your first birthday, and first haircut. Bald just like daddy. Then, when I returned from the desert the first time, on R & R. Your mom told you she had a present for you in the house and you had to find it. So you walked room to room till you saw me. Then you stood there pointing at me. Saying Daddy, that’s Daddy. Mommy, there goes Daddy. I still watch that video. Then, when I was LOST and you moved back to Germany with your Mom, you called me and said, “Daddy, I want you back.” And I don’t know if you said that by yourself, but it truly brought things back into perspective for me. Because Daddy was truly LOST during that time. But remembering how I grew up away from my father all those years brought some things to light. That I would do whatever I possibly could do to be near you and help raise you. Then, the day when I took you and Janae out to a playground around my way, some German kids was playing and said something like, “they Americanish” or something. 10 minutes later, you was running around speaking German like you been there all your life. You act as my translator and teacher of German for me. And tell your baby sister Janae to speak English to me. How you get hype when we playing the Xbox. Just like me. And how happy you are when I let you win. When you first hit the soccer field, you became my little soccer star. Watching you out there scoring goal after goal was way more than I could have expected. Other parents were telling me how good you are. I could hardly hold from smiling. Because you are that good. Because hell, I played soccer before and to be honest, you scored more goals than me when you scored your first. Smile. And last, when I got to witness your first day of school. The ceremony the second grade had for you was great. I watched you walk off with your classmates to first grade. It’s hard to explain what a parent feels when you see that. It’s indescribable. I think that’s a good place to stop.

These are just a few highlights. There are so many more that I could write for 7 years and not get them all out unless I followed you around with a camera. Just know that you mean so much to me and that I love you. I am so very proud of all that you have accomplished in such a short time. And I can’t wait to see all the things you will do in the future. So, be good. Don’t give your Momma a hard time, look after your sister, and enjoy life. Because I have definitely enjoyed watching yours. I love you.

Love Daddy

Twista on VBC

2008-04-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

Man, its been a minute since I let my mind go. To be honest, I have to watch what I say from a mission standpoint if you know what I mean. But I’m getting back on my grind. Well, fortunately, I have something good to point out. Last night, Twista came to VBC. Yeah, the fastest spittin rapper on the face of the plane. By the Guinness Book of World Records anyway. The same dude who made such hits as “Overnight Celebrity, Slow Jams, Chocolate Fe's and Redbones, Is That Your Chick and killed countless other remixes”. Yeah, him. He was on VBC last night doing a concert for the troops. And it was live. He ran through dam near everything in his catalog, including some remixes and verses he did for other artists. So, to me, he put on the livest show you can put on in this place. Even the Africans were rockin. Lol. The concert lasted for about 2 hours so I was satisfied. Hell, it was free too. So I have no complaints what so ever. After the show, they made lines for autographs and photos. That line filled up quick and I was like, the hell with that, I had to get back to work. But later, I had to drop someone off so I rode by that area, and they were still out there, still in line. But it was much shorter so I was like fuck it. Work will be there and I got my ass in line. I got a chance to take a few pics. They ran out of the photos and CDs so I didn’t get an autograph. But its cool. I got a few pics though. One with him and his partner in rhyme. Forgot his name, and one with the DJ. Can’t travel without one of those either. So, it was cool. I have to say thanks to Twista and his people for supporting us over here. Cuz when you a millionaire, you don’t have to do shit like this. It’s easy to get in front of a camera and say what’s up to the troops from back in the world, but when you get in the line of fire, you get mad props. Shots to Fifty too, he came over last year I heard but they was clownin him saying he was bitchin up and scared to come out the tent. To hell with that nonsense and talk, he came and that’s all that matters. So, in closing, the show was live, the crowd was live and your boy had a good time. One.

Thought This Was Just A Game......

2008-03-25T09:29:00.000-07:00

The other night, I had a basketball game. Yeah, I play ball way over here in Iraq. Mainly for the spirit of the game and a little healthy competition. But most of all, because I just love the game. At least thats why I play. In truth, I think thats why everyone plays. I know I am by no means the best ever. Not even in my own mind. Because if I was, I'd be in the NBA or something. But it seems to me that some want a simple game of basketball to mean so much more. As everyone knows, when men come together, there is always some cat who thinks they wear bigger shorts than the next. Call it male ego. Macizmo. Whatever you want to call it. Sometimes, cats feel like they can say whatever they want to people whenever the spirit moves them. And claim the basketball court as some sort of safe haven were they are protected because its a basketball court. Maybe its because we in the military and they think a man ain't going to stand up and defend themselves because there are consequences for knocking a nigg@s block off. Plus, everyone knows that someone is going to break shit up when something does happen. And that, my friends, is bullshit. We all know that in the streets, its not like that. Its more like what the dude from White Men Can't Jump said "wait here, I'm going to my car, get my gun, and coming back to shoot everybody." That’s how shit is in the streets. Funny or not. But cats in the military got shit twisted for some reason. They think that just because we aint in the streets, that cats don’t still have street in them. If you know what I mean. And in the same breath, cats need to know when to leave that street shit at home. We grown now. At least I thought so anyway. Well, to make a long story short, we had 2 brothas on our own team about a hairline short of throwing blows. Up in each other's face yelling like we still in high school. And neither one of them would let it go. Even after the military powers that be said something. And for what you ask? One person's point of view that he is somehow better than the other. Or that the other person's game doesn't flow with theirs. In the end, after everything was defused, one person quit, and the other is smug in thier belief that he is somehow not one of the problems. I don’t really understand the mentality myself but, if anyone sees me acting like that, please smack the SH!T out of me. I said all that to say this. Who are we really fighting, the enemy or ourselves. I ask myself that question every day. And I still don’t have an answer.

Alexis Oreisha.....

2008-03-24T22:45:00.000-07:00

Alexis Oreisha

I just wanted you to know that I think about you everyday. Right along side the rest of my babies. You are my first and oldest. You were born on 7 Mar 97. That would make you 11years old now. I remember the day well, because it was 2 days before Biggie died. And I remember your mother calling me from the hospital early in the morning to tell me. All I have of you are the pictures of you in my SIXERs jersey tucked away in a shoe box at home and the memories of you from the first time I saw you. I was still under the belief that you weren’t really mines. And to tell the truth, I still don’t know if you are. And given that, that is why I haven’t come looking for you all this time. But, as I said before, I think about you all the time. I have spoken with your mother a few times over the years. Once, I got to hear you playing in the background. She even held the phone up to your ear so I could say a few things to you. That was the most interaction I’ve had with you since the last time I saw you. Your mother said that she would send me some pictures of you. She never did. So I don’t even know what you look like. I can only imagine. You are 11 now and had a birthday just this month. All grown up. I do still try and find a number for your mother. Google White Pages. And I think I have found her but the number is wrong or disconnected. That’s cool though. I also think I have found you. Google too. I have not really found you, but more like the possibility of finding you. I have seen some results to a track meet that you participated in. If its you, of course. Here are the results.

200 METER DASH-GIRLS-PASCO INVITE-2006:

200 — Bianca Green, Garf, 25.3; Alexis Williams-Edwards, Garf, 26.48; Teresa Teng, East, 26.53.

Event 53 Girls 100 Meter Dash 4A Prelims

19 Alexis Edwards-Williams 10 Garfield 13.50

Event 65 Girls 200 Meter Dash 4A Prelims

10 Alexis Edwards-Williams 10 Garfield 27.70

Well, I will hopefully get to meet you one day. And the way we Grant’s are, you can almost tell just by looking at one of us if you are. So, until then, continue to do great things, listen to your mother and remember me in your memories.

Love Daddy

March 19th

2008-03-19T05:47:00.000-07:00

March 19th. My day. Well, a day with great meaning in my life. Not many people know what happened on March 19th, 1999. Well, for those of you who don't, I got married that day. To Jennifer Warren. My Mom, Grandma Jones and Aunt Libby flew all the way from the states to spend that day with me. To see their Ronde get married. Wow, that was a minute ago. But it still hides in my memories like yesterday. so vivid. So, I'll start by saying, it was a day that I never imagined would happen. So, to have my family there to share it with me, was great. But that day wasn't about them, it was about me and Jennifer. On that day, I had to put on my Class A uniform. It was the only suit I had. My best man was Andre. And the best girl was Reese. Like I said, my people where there and so was Jennifer's whole family. We met up downtown at the Markt Platz (I think thats the name). We did the whole not supposed to see the bride till the day of thing so I didn't see Jennifer till she came in the building. Now, Jennifer had always been good looking, but on this day, she was amazing. She had died her hair blond, and had on this white or cream dress with a veil. It was like that. And here I was in my corny Class A uni. But I looked good though. There was alot of couples getting married that day, so, we had to wait for a little bit. And like every man does, I started thinking, I cant believe I am getting married. When it was our turn, we went into this room that was straight. Set the mood I guess. The preacher or whatever she was, performed the wedding in German and English so everyone could follow along. And like every wedding, we said vows, although, I don't think we made our own. Then I put the ring on her finger and gave her a kiss. And the judge pronounced us Man and Wife. After that, we had tons of pictures taken. Inside and outside. Like I said, we was clean so when you clean, take pictures. After the ceremony, we went to this little german spot and had an after lunch, ate good food, and shared cake. We spent a few hours there before we decided to go change clothes and hit a bar owned by Babel's (Jennifer's Mom) friend. We had some drinks and an all out good time. Reese stole the show with her song dedicated to Jennifer. (Girl can blow). She basically made her cry. It was nice. We the evening was over, we took everyone home and hit the TOP HAT. For a few more hours of fun and drinking. Eventually, we left and went home. As husband and wife. And I can't mention what went on after that. What goes on at home stays at home. So, if you weren't there and if this is your first time hearing the details, then, I hope you could visualize this event. It was as I said, one of the biggest days in my life. And no matter what the future held, that was a day and will always be a day, that me and Jennifer shared. So, Happy Anniversary. Always. One.

P.S. I almost forgot

2008-03-19T05:34:00.000-07:00

Like the title says, I almost forgot. I wanted to say a few more things. I been thinking about allot of things the last few days that have been on my mind. And because I have so much time to think, I think about dam near everything. So, since dam near everyone I know will be reading this, I think I should lay a few ground rules. My biggest thing is not to offend anyone. That is not my intentions, but this is not about you, its about me. Whats on my mind. So, if anyone feels offended in any way, let me know. You are free to leave comments, just know that they are available to be read by all. So if you have any comments that you don't want the world to read, hit me on my email. I check that all the time too. So, like I said, I invite you to come ride with me , through my thoughts, memories and all. Enjoy. Again.

Just The Beginning

2008-03-14T03:11:00.000-07:00

Hello all. Its me. My first blog. I plan on making this something epic. Something I can look back upon and say, I spoke the truth. What I was thinking or feeling at that time. I want to let you, see me for me. Live what I am living. Feel what I am feeling. A doorway into my mind. And then, maybe, you will get a better understanding of who I am. Thank you all for taking this journey with me. Enjoy.